The Dutch Onion Bottle (2006)

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Shortly after noon on the first day of the VADA show, a good-looking family of four walked into our booth. A young boy stood at the front of the group, clutching a Dutch squat bottle he had taken from one of our display shelves, while his parents and younger sister stood behind him. Dad told us that their son, Luke, had a question about the bottle.

We turned our attention to Luke, who asked politely, “How much does this cost?”  I reached the bottle from his hands, inverted it, and showed him the price tag affixed to the bottom: $165.  Silently, the boy and his father exchanged glances that made clear their understanding. The question was not a frivolous one.

The boy’s father then explained that his son had recently broken one of a pair of similar bottles in the family collection. He had not been punished, but his parents expected him to contribute to the cost of replacement.

“How did it happen?” I asked.

“I was trying to kill a fly,” said Luke.

“Did you get it?”

He nodded in reply.

Recklessly, I ventured, “Well, one out of two isn’t bad."

Relieved to note that both parents were still smiling, I volunteered, “In view of the circumstances, I think we can lower the price to $140.” I then turned away to allow the family to make their decision in private. Within moments they decided to purchase the bottle. As she wrote the check, Mom explained, with a friendly smile, that her son’s allowance would be “garnished” for a month or two, while the obligation was settled.

Now, more than a month later, the family once again have a pair of 18th century Dutch onion bottles, and (if Mom’s time-line was achieved), Luke's obligation has been satisfied, and a valuable lesson has been learned. We assume that his allowance has been restored to pre-disaster level -- at least if Luke hasn’t been chasing any more flies.

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